More Fun than a Mouse at An Elephant Convention

I try to keep up a friendly correspondence with a few people who are far to the right of me.

I do this because, if I didn't, I'd always only listen to people I agreed with, and my brain would rot.

Here is an exchange between a liberal and a conservative. The names have been withheld (What the hell? If Newsweek can do it, so can I.)

CONSERVATIVE:

Attention drivers who travel in PA -
There is a new Pennsylvania Motor Vehicle law.

HARRISBURG - The
Pennsylvania Department of Transportation announced that a new law, which goes
into effect in January 2007, will require motorists to turn on their headlights
anytime their vehicles wipers are in continuous or intermittent use due to
weather or other atmospheric conditions such as fog or mist.

Motorists
who do not comply with the law could face a fine of $25, but with fees and other
associated costs, the penalty would approach $100.

[And their Governor
is] good ol' ultra-liberal mouthpiece of the Clintonion Democrats.....Ed
Rendell. [Good God, if my friends over at Green
Mountian Daily could see that "ultra-liberal and Clintonian" in the same
sentance- they'd puke!]

Just another example of how the more
liberal side wants to fleece America and protect us from.....ourselves. And
another valid reason to avoid traveling in Pa.

LIBERAL:
You damn right wing radicals will bitch about pretty much
anything, won't you? :)
CONSERVATIVE:
Yep, we sure
will.

But we won't bitch about supporting our
troops.

But we will bitch about those who put them in harm's way by
playing to the media.

Or about welfare reform.

But we
will be the first to help those in need.

Or about saying marriage
is between a man and woman.

But we will about organizations that
support love between a man and boy, or a woman and a girl.

Or about
prayer in school.

But we will about the ACLU trying to make their
will law.

Or about recognizing God and even honoring
him.

But we will fight to our death defending those who
don't.

We won't bitch about Christmas.

We will bitch
about "Happy Holiday".

We won't bitch about "The People's
Rights".

But we will bitch about too big a Federal
Government.

We won't bitch about saving the life of an unborn
fetus.

But we will bitch about taking a life with murder before
it's born.

And, if you like I can go on for another half an hour or
so....

I hope you had a Merry Christmas, and may God bless you
throughout this blessed year.

LIBERAL:

[Now, I tried....whooops.... I mean the LIBERAL
tried to take the high road after this, but temptation was too
strong.]

..........OK, OK, I can't stand it.... I WILL take the bait (damn,
I've got a book I wanted to read tonight, too.)

Yep, we sure will.

But we won't bitch about supporting
our troops.
(Well, not unless you actually have
to PAY TAXES to buy them body armor- then you might start to bitch a
little.)

But we will bitch about those who put them
in harm's way by playing to the media.
(Oh, you
mean like sending them after the WRONG villain- and exposing them to harm's way
just so you can dress up like a solider and say "Mission Accomplished" from the
Deck of Aircraft Carrier while all the reporters take pretty pictures?)

Or about welfare
reform.
(No you don't really bitch too much about
Welfare Reform-- Haliburton seems to be getting everything it needs. And
the Tax breaks on "SECOND HOMES" still seems to be in full force,
too.)

But we will be the first to help those in
need.
(Yes, working side by side with your
Liberal cousins, siblings, friends and colleagues- many on both sides of
the ideological divide DO follow the courage of their convictions to make
the world a better place- that can be
encouraging.)

Or about saying marriage is between a
man and woman.

(And so is Divorce, and so is "Wife Beating")

But we will about organizations that support love
between a man and boy, or a woman and a girl.
(Like the Republican House Leadership under Denny Hastart?)

Or about prayer in school.
(In my town the Christian teachers don't make the kids say
Christians prayers and the Muslim teachers don't make the kids say Muslim
prayers. Those who pray hope that other praying parents pray with the kids
before and after school and while the attend, without fear of persecution or
violence the worship hall of their choice...what a GREAT country this is...you'd
like it here.)

But we will about the ACLU trying to
make their will law.
(Yes, all those nasty things
the ACLU is so willful about- like the right to freedom of speech and freedom of
thought and the freedom to dissent from the opinion of the majority. I
know that Freedom is a popular word describing a much "bitched" concept over
there on the Right Side.)

Or about recognizing God
and even honoring him.
(Perhaps even making a
quick buck by putting "His" slogans- hardly ever "HIs Word" I've
noticed- on cheep Chinese crap and selling it for a buck or
ten.)

But we will fight to our death defending
those who don't.
(By enforcing prayer in schools?
Or by risking getting shot by police while trying to blow up a health clinic or
a federal building?)

We won't bitch about
Christmas.
(At least, most of you who are
Christians won't...aren't there ANY minorities on the right at
ALL?)

We will bitch about "Happy
Holiday".
(What part makes you the most mad? The
"holiday"? or the "happy?"

Here's how we do it where I live. My home and my
Church celebrate Christmas- my town, in which dwell Christians (both Protestants
and Catholics), Jews, Hindu's, Buddhists, and Muslims, celebrates
"Holidays"- everybody except for really pushy people seem to be happy with
the arrangement.)

We won't bitch about "The People's Rights".
(Damn right you won't)

But we
will bitch about too big a Federal Government.
(Yes, too big a Federal government can afford to
investigate irregularities in the savings and loan biz, double check on it's
contractors to make sure that nobody is profiting by the death of American
soldiers and make sure that employers- like Walmart, for example- have to share
the profits of EVERYONE's hard work...at least to the tune of a limited
wage. A big government has the muscle to prevent trusts and
monopoly's...gosh, we can't have that, can we?)

We won't bitch about saving the life of an unborn fetus.
(But you'll execute a born fetus at the drop of a hat- even after
we find out that some of the executed post-fetuses weren't even guilty.)
But we will bitch about taking a life with murder before it's born.
(Yes, then,
and ONLY THEN- a couple of Doctors in a health clinic are fair game,
though.)
And, if you like I can go on for another half an
hour or so....

So can I, my friend, so
can I......

Of course, nothing was proved in this little display, but what the hell? It passed the time.