Animal Crackers

Following the Thanksgiving break, I had a really difficult time getting back into the habit of writing my blog. What would I write about? The things I kept turning over in my mind seemed either done to death, or overly narcissistic, or simply comments on blogs which are commenting on other blogs which are focused on news articles which talk about blogs.

Then, today, like an answer to a prayer, came a RASH of really cool animal stories.

First, there is the Giant Fish, Dunkleosteus terrelli, which grew to over 30 feet long (longer than my house!) and packed one of the fiercest bites in history. However, like Moderate Republicans, the species is extinct, and so, while interesting, no longer relevant.

But that (gosh, I love hyperlinks) lead me to a story about Sea Lions Attacking people from California. It is postulated that these animals MAY have been driven insane by Toxic algae resulting from agricultural runoff and various other sources of pollution. What's funny to me is that, if you search the topic on Google news, most of the headlines are some variation on the following theme: Attacks by sea lions challenge animal's cute, cuddly image Sounds to me like the main stream media thinks that the big seals don't need pollution control, they need a better advertising agency.

(Actually, As I re-read this paragraph the phrase "Attacking People from California" jumps out at me and I think to myself: "Well duh! Of course they are attacking people from California, who the hell wouldn't?" But then, I'm East Coast born and bred.)

Last but not least, REALLY good news from Florida...several emus and some pets have been eaten. WHY is this good news? Because for the first time in a LONG time nobody is pointing a finger at the Alligator. Instead, the state's animal, the Florida Panther is being blamed. And that means that there are finaly enough panthers out there to start getting revenge on the Damn Yankees who have stolen their home state!

According to the Washington Post, 20 years ago, there were as few as 30 Florida Panthers in existence. Now, there are almost 100, according to some sources. Which still, according to www.naplesnews.com , leaves the Florida cat as "one of the most endangered [species] on the planet."

A few weeks ago, I posted about Katherine Harris, and named her as one of the reasons I REFUSED to return to my native land under any circumstances.

Well, here are OTHER reasons why just reading about my beloved home state gives me high blood pressure. At a South Florida forum, called to educate people about how to live with the Florida Panther, the following comments were heard:

"It's my property, not the panther's property," said Mildred Mercado of Golden Gate Estates. "I paid for it. They didn't pay for it."
One of the written questions that was read aloud referred to the Florida panther as a "government-sponsored lethal animal."

Instead, Floridians have expressed approval, in spades for a program of road widening and continued building which will leave, not a new subdivision, but a new TOWN in it's wake.

Now, I know that, just like the Republican Responce to fires a few years back, at least ONE of the Bush Brothers will weigh in with some terrific solution like....oh, I don't know, a tax rebate for every fifty thousand dollar Panther Coat purchased....but as for me....I'm about ready to send those so-called Floridians some seals!