Saturday, July 21, 2007

Bush To Have Operation On Bottom:
Cedes Power to Asshole

You knew we couldn't resist....

For a short time this morning, the Commander In Chief ceded the powers of the Presidency to Dick Cheney. This is only the second time in American History that a Buttwad has turned over power to an asshole in order to under go a rectal exam. Bush relinquished power to Cheney in 2002 as well.

Perhaps Al Qaeda is up my Butt?

White House Spokesgoblin Tony Snow denied rumors that the President was looking for the elusive Osama Bin Laden. "I can't find him...but I think I know where he might be," the president stated, "Maybe that's why it hurts so much."

At Last!

For a few moments, this morning, Dick Cheney sat in his Maryland armchair and was heard to guietly gloat: "It's mine, it's all mine...whaaahhahahahahaahah! "

No, seriously, I wouldn't..hee, heeRumors that the Vice-President had enjoyed the experience of being President so much that he was exploring ways to retain the office permanently were firmly denied.

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