For a short time this morning, the Commander In Chief ceded the powers of the Presidency to Dick Cheney. This is only the second time in American History that a Buttwad has turned over power to an asshole in order to under go a rectal exam. Bush relinquished power to Cheney in 2002 as well.
White House Spokesgoblin Tony Snow denied rumors that the President was looking for the elusive Osama Bin Laden. "I can't find him...but I think I know where he might be," the president stated, "Maybe that's why it hurts so much."
For a few moments, this morning, Dick Cheney sat in his Maryland armchair and was heard to guietly gloat: "It's mine, it's all mine...whaaahhahahahahaahah! "
Rumors that the Vice-President had enjoyed the experience of being President so much that he was exploring ways to retain the office permanently were firmly denied.