Sunday, August 12, 2012

Ray Gaster: Sign of the Times

Somebody just sent me an email with a picture in it.  It says it shows a sign, posted outside of Ray Gaster's Georgia Hardware Store.
Here's the photo:

So, I wrote my friend back with my response to Ole Ray....


I seem to see a ROAD out front in that there piture- that must be what the customers come on to get to Ray's place...did Ole Ray build that by hizmself? ( Oh I know he pays taxes, 'cause his kind don't never stop bitchin about their damn taxes...but do you think he paid for it ALL by himself...heck, does he even think GEORGIA paid for it by itself...no sir, I betcha some of that there road money came down from wealthier states like New York and Massachusetts...simple fact is, them liberal Yankees pay even MORE taxes than Ray...you can look it up.)

Ray also seems to be in the lumber biddness...I'm thinking that timber must have bin brung ta to him on Gov't build roads, or by Gov't subsidized rail...hum, maybe BOTH...or do you reckon Ole Ray went out to Seattle to get that wood hizself?

I'm assumin' that ole Ray has some help at that there lumber yard.  I betcha most of them boys he got workin' for him can prolly read and write at least enough to deal with a loadin' slip, or packin invoice, and they can maybe run a cash register, too.  You recken Ole Ray waited 18 years to open his store while he taught them kids who work for him reading, writin' and 'rithmatic?

Oh, and I was just thinkin'....lumber's expensive, seems to me people might just take it if it weren't for all them gov't paid cops in them gov't cars on gov't roads...and it's dangerous working with them saws and all...but I betcha Ray does all his own doctorning and fire departmentering, too, huh?

Now Ray MIGHT keep all his money that he made, after doing everything hizself without any help from his tax payin fellow citizens, in an old Bucket out behind the shed. But just Maybe Ray keeps his money in a bank and earns interest on it...he may also have had ta borrow some to finance that there store...now, who keeps the banks from collapsing every time there's money trouble...which seems like always...maybe it's Ray, er, maybe it's the FDIC.  (That'd be FEDERAL Insurance Deposit Corporation).

Did Ray loan all them people the money to build or add on to their homes or new construction? How 'bout them small business loans, did Ray make em?  Unless Ray owns a hell of a lot more than one lumberyard in Georgia, I'm thinking that might be a bit outta Ray's reach. But I betcha Ray's real happy to take their money when they come into the store fer lumber an sich....

And don't tell Ray about all the kids that went on to college to learn how to keep the electricity on, build a faster saw or better, cheaper paint to sell, trucks to drive in, or computers to keep track of his inventory...a lot of them kids at least got a Gov't loan to that, if not an out right gov't grant.

We don't even need to talk about the billions and billions of dollars the Government spends every day to keep the the bad guys on their side of the ocean...

Hell's bells, Ray don't even have to deal with food riots, 'cause, although we only spend about 8 percent of our money on what Ray would call "Welfare", it's enough to keep most of them folks feed and quiet (hell some of them kids even grow up to go to school on the Gov't's dime and make stuff fer Ray's biddness).

My thoughts on Ray are this: he's entitled to his opinion, and I'm entitled to mine...and my opinion is that Ray's opinion of himself and his abilities as an EntrepRayneer are just a lettle bit inflated...I don't know Ray, but judging by how his sign seems to indicate he thinks he's holdin' the sky up all by hizself, I'm thinking he prolly thinks his turds smell like Roses, too.

Ray...you think you did it all by yourself...and I think you're full of shit. Me and three hundred million other Americans helped make the world safe and ready for your buisness...you could at least say: Thanks instead of bitchin all the time.

I'm Alex Ball
and I approve THIS message.

PS- Ray, if you can prove you did all this by yurself, I will gladly drive to Georgia and kiss your ass.

Here's another great take on this story- with an annotated photo:

Friday, June 08, 2012

Mitt Romney wants it both ways.

My Republican friends love to tell me: "You can't just keep blaming George W. Bush. Sooner or later, you've got to take responsibility for your performance."

Well, Mitt Romney has been trying to have it both ways.  On the one hand, he lambasts the President for poor job performance.   On the OTHER hand...he explains away his terrible record in Massachusetts when it comes to job creation by saying that he inherted the mess and that he really shouldn't be held responsible for his first three years in office.

Here's a great little counter punch from the Obama Campaign.

Monday, March 19, 2012

MWMB 35: Worse than Dead Fish

After two weeks in an open can, not many things are worse than dead fish.  A podcast about politics is one of them however.  Due to laziness on the part of our producer, MWMB weighs in on things that happened eons ago...before St. Paddy's day, even.  STILL, in every clod of dirt is at least one small shiny thing....so,  skip to the end and find out why we REALLY have daylight savings time and what giant crickets had to do with it.  Enjoy.

Mwmb 31: Like Fishheads by Mwmb Listen on Posterous


Monday, March 05, 2012

MWMB 34: Rush to Judgement

Talk politics with your virtual friends as MWMB returns to the webwaves after a month long hiatus.  Alex learns that he missed Strauss Kahn going to jail in France, the warm friendly hand of Putin caressing the Russian voters, and of course, we talk about how Rush Limbaugh put his foot in his mouth. Sandra Fluke offered the Testimony that she was not allowed to give on the floor of Congress and Rush calls her a nasty, nasty word. 


Mwmb 34: Rush To Judgement Listen on Posterous

Sunday, February 19, 2012

MWMB 33: The Wilhelm Scream

CHECK IT OUT! Episode 33 is up at http://mwmb.posterous.com/
This show, while less than fresh (I got ambushed by a lot of real work, so it's been in the can a while), is still fun.  Romney says that being 62.3 times richer that Barack Obama means he's "more in touch" with the American people.  Barack Obama then says that JESUS wants you to pay more taxes.  Cabbage Patch Geoff catches a Giant Bass.  And you don't want to miss Jim the Hammer reading a letter from Jourdan Anderson...a former slave who's master has asked him to return to the plantation.  As always, it's a crazy world, and we're just two regular guys trying to keep up...it's enough to make you want to give the WILHELM SCREAM.

One Million Homophobes...uh, sorry, Moms

Obama: Who Would Jesus Tax?

Romney In Touch

The Jourdan Anderson Letter

The Wilhelm Scream Compilation

Cletus Take the Reel

And the song it's based on: Jesus Take the Wheel.

Mwmb 33: Wilhelm Scream by Mwmb Listen on Posterous

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Fw: MWMB 32: So Far Away...

And away we go...FAR AWAY.  This week,  the boys see if they can fight in a bipartisan manner while separated by two continents and the world's largest ocean...that's almost as far as the distance between the Republican and Democratic sides of the Aisle. Jim tells us how the good people in the Republic of Georgia are reacting to the GOP Primaries...Canada throws it's hat into the American Presidential Race...and Jim and Alex fight over Obama...again.  Please listen, we need the clicks.  10 more new listeners and we get a star on NowDefunctSearchEngine.com

Mwmb 32: So Far Away. by Mwmb Listen on Posterous


Sunday, January 22, 2012

MWMB 31: The British Are Coming (The Italians Are Sinking...)

MWMB welcomes Ru and Jon,  two British Subjects,  who school Alex and Jim on why America  drives them crazy.  Jim and Alex enjoy ALL the fun of a down home South Carolina Primary (and MITT ROMNEY SPEAKS FRENCH).  And Alex risks going to hell eternal without possibility of parole (or pasta) by ridiculing the idea that an Italian should have EVER been made a ship captain.  Cabbage Patch Geoff sings a little love/hate song to Mitt Romney. 


Mwmb 31: The British Are Coming by Mwmb Listen on Posterous

Friday, January 13, 2012

MWMB 30: Peeing On the Taliban!

Peeing on the Taliban.  Math gets Racist. Obama's Bush Doctrine. Cabbage Patch Geoff's "Ode to Mitt Romney & the Pink Slip". Jim held captive in Canada. Plus: Driving Miss Daisy to the Ho-House and a spoon swallowing dog.  It's week 30 of MWMB.  Like us on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/pages/MWMB/172919632788125) , listen to us on your iphone, elect us President.   We'll do the rest. 

Peeing On the Taliban:

Racist Math:

MItt Romney Firing People:

Mwmb 30: Peeing On The Taliban by Mwmb Listen on Posterous

Friday, January 06, 2012

Fw: MWMB 29: New Year..Same Old S#*t!

Join us dear listener...MWMB discusses what a bummer 2011 was, the EVIL of Canada, a recap  (or is that: kneecap?) of Iowa...and Jim, perhaps surprisingly, ends up being a LOT more worried about the police powers in the new defense bill than Alex was...will Obama lock us up in Gitmo?  Could be.  Geoff (who was actually READY for the Christmas show that we didn't do) gives us "Pipeline for Christmas" and Jim and Alex have three candidates for  this  weeks salute  Also, we answer the question: what can you do with stolen batteries, make-up, and power bars?  Answer: What CAN'T you do?  Give us 20 minutes of your time and we'll give you....this show!  PLUS Alex Geofferies and Jim the Hammer let slip their real identities...you'll be amazed at who they are. (Such a deal.)

Mwmb 29: New Year. Same Old Sh - T! by Mwmb Listen on Posterous

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